Tuesday, April 12, 2011


Reading directions can be a tricky thing when your soul suddenly turns numb.

As I was getting settled back into my house after two days in hospitals, I realized that the CPR paper that I was attempting to read while my 10 month old son was seemingly clinging  to life had been flipped to the wrong side.  The 911 operator gave my wife the gist of it and soon he was screaming again.  He didn't stop long after the EMT's had left, so we decided to take him to ER number one.  Now when I say number one, it is in no way a reflection of its ranking among ERs -- far from it.  It was just our first with our little boy.

They said things were all clear as well, but we knew differently, especially when he couldn't move his left arm the next day.  The condition worsened by the time we had made it to our second ER the next day and Jude could not even sit up on his own.  The day before he stood completely on his own.  This is the part of the blog where I give readers the chance to guess the mystery medical condition before moving on.  Anyone?  You sir with the degree in Neurology, any guesses?  How about you, team of young, eager med students?  Stumped?  Well then, lets see what the CT scan has to say...  NOTHING...  How about you MRI?  NADA!  Surely good ole' X-RAY... NOPE.  This game was played out over 24 excruciating hours of our lives.  Fortunately, we did get free Gatorade.

So the Dr. on call came in and released us, saying that all of the tests revealed nothing but a healthy little boy, who didn't have a seizure, stroke, spinal trauma, or anything that could possibly haunt us in the future.  That was a huge relief, prayers answered, and all around good news.  Jude had started moving his left arm again and his motor skills were slowly returning.  After we got home, he started to crawl.  The next day, he stood with help.  The next day he pulled himself up and started cruising again.  The emotional wounds for Mom and Dad were all that really remained...  What was it?  Why did this happen?  Will it happen again? ... Are you really sure?

Now this is the part that you may have been waiting for medical mystery fans...  Turns out, it was likely Botulism, caused by raw honey.  It may have come from the white rice we fed him the night before at a restaurant, or from somewhere else, that is still a bit of a mystery.  It seems to match dead on with symptoms and recovery.

I've been thinking about why it was important for me to write all of this down.  I have been pretty horrible about documenting months 3-10 of Jude's life.  Maybe it was to get it out of my system, however, I have told variations of our horror story about 50 times in the last week.  It could be because of the excitement and intrigue of this story that has overshadowed some of the normal baby stuff that has been going on in those months.  It could just be to warn parents, that honey is similar to anthrax for babies.

I think the real significance for me though, was that in that one panicked moment of reading a CPR guideline upside down I realized that I could not breathe without my son.  I loved him before he was born, but in these 7 months that have been away from this blog, I have fallen deeply in love with Jude.  He growls now.  Did I Mention that?!?  The kid growls like a dinosaur!  He tries to crawl head first off of our bed and thinks it is hilarious.  He eats cereal like some deranged cartoon character on the box.  He whispers da-da and cries MA-MA.  He thinks giving me 5 is one of the best things in life, besides Mickey Mouse.  He loves gravity and The Office theme song.  He greets everyone with a smile.  We grow closer every day.

Now that's progress.


  1. What a wonderful love letter!

  2. Awesome post! Maybe your post will help someone eles going through this situation in the future...Honey is now banned from my house :)

  3. This was a beautiful and touching post. I could not ever imagine what that was like for the three of you to go through and I am thankful that you posted what happened to warn others. It is so easy for a parent to let kids try things or not know what is being served and then this could happen. You guys are wonderful parents and I know that Heavenly Father is pleased with the love that you give one of his children. I love you guys!

  4. Hello! I had a question for you about possibly collaborating on something and was hoping you could email me back to discuss? Thanks so much!

    - Carolyn